Sometimes people say that therapy is only for weak people who need a prop to lean on. Don’t believe it for a moment! Psychotherapy requires psychological strength and courage, and a lot of commitment. It takes a lot of guts to look inside ourselves, and even more to let someone else share that journey with us.

Our first few sessions together are called the Assessment: they give us both the opportunity to consider whether we think we’ll be able to work well together. It is important that you feel comfortable with me, and that I feel I have the right skills and experience to work with the issues you are bringing.

During the Assessment I will find out what specifically is bringing you into therapy at this time and what you are hoping to get out of it. Usually, I will also take a thorough life history. As a humanistic-integrative psychotherapist, I am interested in the whole person: body, mind, emotions, spirit, relationships, family and social context. Often we find that events and patterns from the past still influence us in the present, even if we don’t realise it, and exploring this will be an important part of the work. Once the Assessment is complete, we will decide if we are both happy to proceed. If we are, we will move to the main part of the work. We will usually meet weekly, although in some circumstances it can be helpful to have more than one session a week. Regularity and continuity are important in good therapy.

I will encourage you to explore your thoughts, feelings, actions and circumstances, in order to help you to gain greater understanding of the issues that have brought you into therapy, and your own part in them. It’s very important to understand from the outset that, while we may have influence over other people, the only person we have the power to change directly is ourselves. But we do have that power!

Relational theory tells us that sensing real connections in our relationships is vital to us as human beings. Being able to experience this in the therapeutic relationship itself can help us to become more confident and genuine in the way we relate to other people in our lives.

You are an active partner in the therapeutic process, rather than a passive recipient of this thing called therapy. Being as honest as you can during sessions is very important. The more you participate in the work we do together, the more likely you are to find therapy helpful. You will often need to work on the issues we discuss in session during the course of your normal week. I will give you suggestions on how to do this, such as books to read and writing exercises to do.

Although many people find therapy beneficial, it is not without risks. Don’t be surprised if you find sessions challenging and difficult sometimes. You may get in touch with thoughts or feelings that you have previously preferred not to acknowledge, such as guilt, shame, anger or sadness. It would be unrealistic for me to guarantee specific outcomes, but if you are concerned at any time that therapy is not meeting your expectations, please do not hesitate to discuss this with me.

The relationship between client and therapist is special and close, but it is different from a normal friendship. One therapist makes the helpful point that there are things that a counselling relationship can never be, “but that what it is can nevertheless be relied upon” (Lott, 1999 “In Session”). It is my responsibility as your therapist to set and maintain certain boundaries, such as those described below, which help to keep the relationship safe for both of us.

1) Unfortunately, I do not have a receptionist or a waiting area, so to safeguard your confidentiality and that of my other clients, please be so kind as to wait until your appointed time before approaching the house.

2) Each session will last 50 minutes; if you arrive late for a session, we will meet together for whatever time is remaining.

3) We have agreed that you will pay ………….. for both assessment and ongoing therapy sessions. Payment can be made by cash or by cheque (made payable to Rose Whiteley). I review fees at the end of each tax year (April 5th), but if your circumstances change in the meantime, please let me know. Please note that non-payment of fees may ultimately result in legal action being taken.

4) Therapy works best when there is security and consistency in the arrangements between us. Because making an appointment means I keep a space in my diary for you to ensure I am available for you, I will need to charge the full fee for appointments missed or cancelled with less than one week's notice. If you are unable to keep our next appointment for any reason, you will need to let me know at the previous week’s session if you want to avoid having to pay. This helps me run my practice efficiently and fairly to all parties. If you are not able to give me one week’s notice of cancellation, but let me know you won’t be attending before your session begins, I will do my best to offer you a replacement session (for no extra charge) during the same week, if I can. Please note, however, that I cannot guarantee this will be possible.

Of course, you will not be charged in the unlikely event that I have to cancel a session (for example, due to illness).

5) A crisis intervention may last only 2-3 sessions; dealing with one very specific problem might take a few weeks; but where there are several issues that are more complex and perhaps date back some time, this is likely to involve working at greater depth, over a number of months or years.

6) Please give a minimum of two sessions notice before ending. You have the right at any time to stop coming to therapy, but ending should not be a spur of the moment decision. Indeed, if you find yourself having a strong, sudden urge to end, this is highly likely to indicate something going on in the therapy that needs to be addressed! It is good practice for us both to discuss your ending well in advance of the event, so that feelings about endings in general can be worked through, and any outstanding issues from the therapy can be discussed.

7) I reserve the right to end a session if I believe you to be intoxicated, or I sense a threat to my self or my property.

I fully appreciate that you will be trusting me with sensitive and personal information, and I take your privacy very seriously. Nevertheless, there are a few exceptions to the general principle of confidentiality, as described below:

8) As a professional therapist, I regularly discuss my casework with a supervisor (who also upholds the principles of confidentiality). My supervisor does not live in Bedfordshire. Supervision helps therapists to offer as high a level of safety and quality of care as possible.

9) I will make brief notes following each session. My notes do NOT have your name on. They are kept in a locked cabinet and password-protected on my PC and will not be shared with anyone (except my supervisor) without your permission, unless I am compelled to do so by the courts.

10) I will not contact your GP or anyone else without your permission or knowledge, unless I believe you are at serious risk (for example, if you are psychotic or intentionally suicidal).

11) If you reveal to me during our sessions that someone else is at risk, particularly a child, I will encourage and support you to take necessary action (for example, to inform Social Services). If you are unable or unwilling to do so, I need to reserve the right to break confidentiality and contact the relevant agency myself.

12) If you are a psychotherapist or counsellor in training, other exceptions to confidentiality might apply – please ask if you would like further information.

I am an accredited Psychotherapist and Psychotherapeutic Counsellor with a specialism in sexual and relationship difficulties. I belong to three professional organisations: I am registered as a Psychotherapist and Psychotherapeutic Counsellor with the UK Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP); accredited as a counsellor by the UK Association of Humanistic Psychology Practitioners (UKAHPP); and accredited as a Sexual and Relationship Psychotherapist with the College of Sexual and Relationship Therapy (COSRT formerly BASRT). I am subject to each organisation’s codes of ethics and complaints procedures. You can find out more about them as follows:

UKAHPP, Box BCM AHPP, London, WC1N 3XX Tel 08457 660326, www.ahpp.org

UKCP, 2nd Floor, Edward House, 2 Wakley Street, London, EC1V 7LT www.psychotherapy.org.uk

COSRT (formerly BASRT), PO Box 13686, London SW20 9ZH, Tel 020 8543 2707, www.cosrt.org.uk